Uncountable times a day I fall into a sleepy state of wandering through imaginated scenes which are all constructed in my fantasy. They are reflecting my deepest wishes, a tale of everything I am longing for. I would float into a different universe where everything felt right. Where the colour of my skin is of no bad interest other than pointing out the beauty of human diversity. Where my parents are freed from their illness, having a bright and long life ahead of them. Where I see someone beautiful while looking into the mirror. Where a ever-loving boy appears to fill me with all the care and respect I have been craving for so long. Yet I am not supposed to dwell in this otherwordly haze for any longer, I realise quickly after reality pulls me back in to the here and now. The blurry vision fades and leaves back a sharpness that cuts my eyes and makes me want to escape again - from the misery that is me to the bliss that is my daydream.
The fruits were shining red, too beautiful and tempting to let them fade into the grey of regret. So you took them, made yourself vulnerable until the memories became a part of yourself. They crawled up your spine, into your vains and running through your blood until the caressing came haunting you every night. So remember, little darling, don't let it come too close again.
saw me, swallowed me, teared me apart, spit me out again and i have to accept that i'm weak and you won the fight.